Eating, school, food and restaurants – don’t I have enough to do?

Ok, so I’m still trying to learn this blogging thing. Everytime I turn around, I’m finding something else that annoys me, like succumbing to a different BBQ house that happened upon us.

The story goes like this. My wife, kids and I had spent the morning doing yard work and a variety of “honey-do’s”. My wife asked if I would take her to her favorite BBQ joint. Mike’s in Escondido, CA. It’s like she eats there once a week…really! We go there, she’s all excited and already knows what she’s going to get. We walk toward the door and notice the parking lot and appears the place is jam-packed. We walk inside only to realize the door had a sign on it that they were closed for a private event. She’s all dejected and pissed.

So, we travel to the Miramar area for something my son wanted and decide to checkout another BBQ place I had seen before because we were in the area. I already have an attitude because my wife has gotta have BBQ. We could have gone anywhere else like maybe La Salsa for a quickie, but she’s gotta have BBQ. Trust me, my day’s sanity would not rest until she had BBQ. So, hailing themselves as “real texas BBQ”, we pull into the parking lot and my wife somehow finds the only 5-foot wide puddle in all of San Diego, and she parks strategically so I cannot get out from my door. I literally had to stand on the door jamb and jump out, then go back and navigate my way to close the door. F@#k, I’m already pissed, and now I had to deal with this. Jeez!

It’s now 2pm on a Saturday afternoon and we go inside and there’s a couple (about 7 or 8) folks sitting and eating. I’m thinking, Ok, maybe it’s not bad. We order from this young confused, and quiet, looking gal that responded to this question from my wife. “Do you have onion rings?” Her response, “No, but we have onions over there”, pointing to the condiment table. An interesting response. After asking about some menu items and getting a feel for the ordering system, I order the 7 meat sampler. She asks “Ok, what two meats do you want?”. Confused I ask, “What meats does it come with?” I don’t know about you, but as soon as she said “ham” I backed out quickly. I literally had a vision of  a baked ham slice from a Denny’s breakfast “Slam” with BBQ sauce poured on top. She also said it comes with two sides and a “munn”. “A what?”, I respond. “A rrlick bmm”. I say “I’m sorry did you say garlic bread?. She says “no, it’s like a bun with garlic butter”. “Oh, Ok, I replied. I hope I don’t forget to tell you about the “bun.

Anyway, I guess I had a choice of two meats, like ribs or brisket or something. I quickly ordered the 3-meat sampler because I had just been briefed on its 3 selection opportunity. I ordered 1 beef rib, 3 pork ribs, and some brisket. Sounded safe and I also figured it would give me a real sample other than some dried out “smoked sausage” and a “Denny’s ham slice” on the plate with BBQ sauce poured on everything.

So, we get our food in like less than 5 minutes, and I’m thinking, WOW!, that was fast. Then I remembered that BBQ doesn’t take that long…but that fast? Hmmm.

Well the ribs were somewhat meaty, I’ll give ’em that; but they were not “fall off the bone” tender as with Mike’s in Escondido. The beef rib had a heavy silver layer underneath in which to chew through and I more like just squeezed the meat from under it with my teeth. The bun, oh…the bun. Well it comes with a bun that had some butter, I guess it may have been garlic butter. But the bun was a$.59 packaged cheepo hamburger bun you get from the market to feed the kids sloppy joes on. Each of us at the table looked at the “bun” and said “what is this?”. So, I fill the “bun” with the brisket, making it into a sandwich and doctored it up with jalapeno, horse radish and the “onions” from the condiment table. The pickles, jalapeno and onions all tasted the same like they were using the same marinating brine for all of it. I still have an attitude, mind you.

I swiftly finish consuming what I could until I “hit the wall”, and there was no reason to go through it this time; so I got up and searched for a hand wiping “moist towlette” thingy. Oh yeah. I hate restaurants that only provide inadequate napkins at the table. Yup, they had those cheepo tissue types for BBQ. Really…seriously? You know the kind that you just grab a stack and wipe your hands with the whole stack type cheepo’s. So I could not find the wet wipes so I ask for them, The confused looking young gal hands me three, since we were 3 at our table. I open mine and I can’t extract it from the sealed wrapper without it kinda shredding in my hand. I’m thinking, jeez, this place has everything cheep going on. So I head for the restroom to clean up. I saw two signs above the hall way indicating a restroom. I go back through the hall way to be greeted by some very nasty old “diner” style booth seats all stacked up against the wall. These things looked disgusting, and making my way back to the bathroom, I pass several openings, one had the hippie style beads covering the access to one are of the kitchen and, in passing, look through to see “Ramsey’s Nightmare Kitchen”. Ribs laying on the table without being on so much as a piece of parchment paper, and I see chunks of beef, pork, and/or who knows what all over the floor and table tops, and no-one around doing anything. For God’s sake, clean up!, instead of standing around the front counter and talking…where the staff and, appeared to be, owners were all congregated. Well, turns out there was no mens bathroom down that hall and the two restroom signs both said “women’s”. I ask one of the staff where the men’s bathroom was and she pointed to the other hall way where there was one sign above saying “mens”. I finally found a less than satisfactory restroom in which to wash my hands and was thinking; ” bet the soap dispenser doesn’t work…well, to, my surprise, it did. Then I thought, I wonder if the hot water works and again was surprised that it worked as well.

Well, bottom line is, we won’t be going back. I made a comment to my wife, something to the direction of, “if I told you, you would get pissed”, because I knew she would have just puked if I told her of my observations, so I just kept quiet and looked forward to the stop of the day…Bernardo Winery. I just hope I don’t die from some food-borne illness. I think my comment actually included something like that.

So that was a way long blog. I should instead probably be doing something toward completion of my homework, but no, I am currently the only blogger. So start blogging, commenting, or pointing everyone to this blog.




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